oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
