It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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