I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
how does that bad decision feel?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
