The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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