a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
