i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
