Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
