girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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