And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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