Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
did i walk over a car last night?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
