so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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