I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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