I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You may now shotgun with the bride
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
