There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
