Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
