Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
