Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
