My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
