you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
