Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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