just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
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