I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
