i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
