nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
