We're like a lot better than the average bears
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I smell like Dick and happiness
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
