some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
