I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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