If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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