Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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