insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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