Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on

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  (954): I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on http://tfl.nu/pg75
  Replies (43) Good night (3267) Bad night (828)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day

  (240): View more from Maryland

  hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine

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  (301): i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day (240): hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine http://tfl.nu/f8k7
  Replies (10) Good night (4269) Bad night (1019)
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  (916): View more from California

  The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.

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  (916): The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless. http://tfl.nu/34a1
  Replies (27) Good night (6166) Bad night (1407)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.

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  (201): Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one. http://tfl.nu/7onj
  Replies (36) Good night (7979) Bad night (847)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?

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  (717): RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea? http://tfl.nu/y40i
  Replies (46) Good night (1428) Bad night (7770)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.

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  (541): When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside. http://tfl.nu/wpt8
  Replies (11) Good night (3001) Bad night (1753)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers

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  (910): I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers http://tfl.nu/vom9
  Replies (16) Good night (1154) Bad night (5264)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"

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  (908): and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now" http://tfl.nu/8bck
  Replies (11) Good night (2612) Bad night (643)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.

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  (503): I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours. http://tfl.nu/1oq1
  Replies (3) Good night (1618) Bad night (658)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe

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  (832): He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe http://tfl.nu/uw0b
  Replies (2) Good night (1176) Bad night (585)
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  (415): View more from California

  also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...

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  (415): also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable... http://tfl.nu/fb10
  Replies (9) Good night (659) Bad night (1480)
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  (818): View more from California

  My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club

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  (818): My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club http://tfl.nu/p6gc
  Replies (13) Good night (1138) Bad night (1217)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.

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  (314): It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved. http://tfl.nu/gg0m
  Replies (3) Good night (909) Bad night (453)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.

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  (608): We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you. http://tfl.nu/0tab
  Replies (7) Good night (1225) Bad night (427)
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  (510): View more from California

  Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.

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  (510): Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves. http://tfl.nu/hxwa
  Replies (2) Good night (629) Bad night (250)

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