it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?