Just mADE A PArabola og urine
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
No subtext here. People are naked.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009