Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize