I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
