i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
