It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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