I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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