i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
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