i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
