you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
