I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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