Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
