I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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