Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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