wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
