I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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