Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
