Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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