I will die if light touches me.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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