At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
