im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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