I feel like I'm in dance class right now
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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