I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize