The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
