i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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