I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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