found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
