...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
