Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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