ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
