Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
