apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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