i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
